Of course I’d rather use the deodorant that transforms me into a virile hunk of masculinity than the one that just smells like flowers. That deodorant is sold to us on a basis of our sexual desires. At the age of 67, any sexual desires I have are restricted to my wife, so they attempt to arouse an artificial worldly desire in me that makes me want to be magnetic to every bimbo on the beach. If I spray that stuff on my armpits, will that really happen to me? It conjures images of voluptuous amazons leaping over logs on the beach, crazed by the smell of a Pandora’s box of essence, inadvertently opened by a skinny nerd. Well of course nothing like that will happen, but subconsciously I feel there must be a chance of something remotely similar occurring. There must be, because I saw it on TV, and TV ads never lie. The other brand has a zero % chance of anything like that ever happening otherwise they would have said so. Subliminal advertising has worked it’s charm. I will instinctively buy the first brand, not really knowing why.
I read a newspaper article about the resurgence of young hunters. Apparently because its the only way to be assured that your meat is free range, non GMO, organic, killed humanly, lean, sustainable and not pumped full of chemicals. (Did I miss any environmental catch words?) Gosh, us hunters have been saying how good wild game is for years. In a time when being a vegan seems to be the latest fad, when owning a gun automatically makes you a mass killer, the trendy are taking up hunting? I can see it now, hipsters, goths, hippies and skaters leaving their celery sticks behind and roaming the woods with guns, looking for something organic to kill. Oh please no. I’d prefer that they’d stick to their tree hugging redundancy, and not ruin a perfectly good sport by making it politically correct to hunt. Otherwise us hunters might cross the line and take up eating tofu in spite.