When Men Have Lost The Battle

The battle I’m referring to is the one for headship in one’s own family. Biblical headship is not about being the boss and lording over the wife or making all the decisions for the family. Marriage and a family is all about teamwork. But someone has to steer the ship, set the vision, plot the course. Ultimately if a man has abdicated his God given role as the head of the family, he is walking in disobedience to the scriptures. I think they refer to that as …sin. His biblical mandate is to care for and lead his wife into God’s purposes. A strong women married to a weak man is usually a disaster waiting to happen. Unless she has a vision for leaving the leadership to, and supporting him in it, her natural tendency will be to take charge. When this happens, he loses his self worth, initiative and drive, he will take on the role of a “kept man.” I’m pretty sure that most women really don’t want a mouse for a husband, but it’s difficult for them when their personality is stronger than their husband’s.
I’ve heard women scoff at men. “Oh you poor thing, did your ego get hurt today?” Biblically, there’s a curse upon a woman who scoffs at a man. Actually, men are very sensitive about their manhood. I’m not referring to their ego, but their very identity as a man. Women tend to be sensitive about their acceptance in a different way.
If I said to a woman “you’re looking ugly today,” or “you look fat, why don’t you lose some weight?” She’d be crushed! She would go off and have a cry about it. Now if I said that to a man, he’d probably think nothing of it and reply with something like, “yea, so what’s your point?” or thanks ya dummy, same to you.”
Once my Dr. told me I needed to lose some weight. I said “look who’s talking fatso, you weigh more than I do!” He just laughed. Now I could never say that to a female doctor. I noticed that I am more conscious of what I’m wearing when going to a men’s meeting or retreat than any other time. A man’s acceptance and identity comes from his relationships with other men, not from women.
In a fallen world, men abdicate their role, and the women take over the lead. Their boys learn by example to follow, not lead. Then we wonder why kids have difficulty being serious. They just waste their lives playing video games, sports, or other self centered pursuit’s.
In a matriarchal society, the men are passive, ineffective, and reclusive. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a godly characteristic for a man to be shy. Today, bold decisive men in the church, are almost as scarce as godly demure women. Now that’s another topic.

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