Rob Bell, a post modern preacher and best selling author, asks a lot of questions, but offers few answers. Reminiscent of when satan said “did God really say?”
The purpose being to sow seeds of doubt in the hearts of listeners. He errs greatly when he portrays a different god to the one of the scriptures. A god of his making, that exemplifies niceness and tolerance of sin.
Post modern Christianity is not Christianity at all. It deny’s the most basic tenants of orthodoxy. Jesus Christ is reduced to nothing more than a good example to follow. God is just a benevolent deity who gives understanding winks at our humanness (read Sin). The atonement for our sin and God’s subsequent requirement of sanctification is glossed over. Any mention of personal holiness is quickly dismissed as legalism. In short, the need for a savior is redundant, because the will to deal with personal sin is replaced by a feel good, social gospel.
How quickly we forget the truth and follow such charlatans. The youth, and the feeble minded are preyed on by these wolves of destruction. The immature and weak in the faith are seduced by high sounding human logic. Many have had their simple trust in Jesus destroyed by impostors like him. In the end, they are left disgruntled with the church, and disappointed with a different gospel that goes nowhere.
Do not be deceived. A Christian cannot be too diligent in guarding his heart, and keeping his life pure before a holy God.
I was handing out hot chocolate at the soup line on Main Street when the guy serving juice next to me said “was that a boy, or a girl? Beats me” I said as I looked for body language clues. Later on I was thinking, if they look very feminine, pretty, and attractive, it’s probably a boy. And if they look really masculine, butchy, and mean, chances are it’s a girl.
Somewhere along the way we really got things mixed up. I remember, not too many years ago, when men were men and women were women. You never had to guess which side of the fence they’re on. Women used to make an effort to look beautiful, but now it’s almost like they are ashamed of being feminine. Men wouldn’t be caught dead wearing some of the stuff guys wear now. Pink looks great on my daughters, and on woman’s underwear, but on a man?? The idea that men need to discover their feminine side was never an issue. My feminine side’s at home, cooking dinner. Women’s fashions have gone so androgynous that you need to check the labels to see if you’re in the right side of the clothing store. The soft pastels are usually in the men’s department, while the harder shades are in the women’s side.
Last week I saw two ladies (I think) in a market, shopping for groceries. They were both chunky, dressed like men, and had hair shorter than mine. They looked at me and I think they somehow sensed that I might not approve of their lifestyle. I don’t know how, I thought I was being nice. One of them gave me a look that could freeze your blood. She looked meaner than a junk yard dog.
I raised my kids so that they were never confused about their gender. That’s one less problem in life they had to deal with.
Of course you want a career and to make something of yourself. You can’t just sit around and do nothing. Having a family is great but to be a doormat for him and have your mind turn to mush?
But is that what you really want? The golden rule applies here. “He that has the gold makes the rules.”
Try letting him have control. Give the responsibility of the finances over to him. Let him fail. If there is any vestige of manhood in him, he will rise to the challenge. What’s he going to do about it? Is he going to man up or will he go play with his board games, toy RC helicopters, pets or some other childish time waster. That’s a sure sign that he’s given up leadership of the family. He’s allowed his wife to take charge while he retreats to redundancy.
Perhaps paternal leave would enhance his manhood. Spending a few months changing diapers while his wife goes out to earn the bacon. Isn’t that what every woman wants? A domesticated metro man that she can provide for. By going down that road, many a man has volunteered for spiritual castration, rendering himself impotent of effectiveness in his life’s vision. Speaking of castration, a gelding is a horse with his nuts chopped so that any spirit or spark in it’s demeanor would be eliminated.
What is a woman to do with her career when a baby comes along? How about giving it up in deference to a much higher calling as a career mother and home maker. Trying to juggle both career and family won’t do justice to either. With children you only get one kick at the can. Do you really want to short change your family? Of course you could always harness the potential of your husband. He could help you with all your domestic duties, freeing you up to pursue your career guilt free. Trouble is he can no more juggle career and domestic duties than you can. His competitive edge would be lost. He would become a good help meet to you. Gosh, that’s biblical!
I know a fellow who reversed the roles and stayed at home playing mr. mom, while his wife had a decent job. Now that his kids are grown, he wonders why his son curses him and and has absolutely no respect for him. To come to think of it, nobody else has much respect for the guy either. He’s an unman, a gelding, a soft neutered nice guy that nobody listens to.
A partnership? Yes but someone still has to steer the ship, and someone else has to nurture the family. I don’t believe they can be the same person. Your real fulfillment will come in serving his vision.
The battle I’m referring to is the one for headship in one’s own family. Biblical headship is not about being the boss and lording over the wife or making all the decisions for the family. Marriage and a family is all about teamwork. But someone has to steer the ship, set the vision, plot the course. Ultimately if a man has abdicated his God given role as the head of the family, he is walking in disobedience to the scriptures. I think they refer to that as …sin. His biblical mandate is to care for and lead his wife into God’s purposes. A strong women married to a weak man is usually a disaster waiting to happen. Unless she has a vision for leaving the leadership to, and supporting him in it, her natural tendency will be to take charge. When this happens, he loses his self worth, initiative and drive, he will take on the role of a “kept man.” I’m pretty sure that most women really don’t want a mouse for a husband, but it’s difficult for them when their personality is stronger than their husband’s.
I’ve heard women scoff at men. “Oh you poor thing, did your ego get hurt today?” Biblically, there’s a curse upon a woman who scoffs at a man. Actually, men are very sensitive about their manhood. I’m not referring to their ego, but their very identity as a man. Women tend to be sensitive about their acceptance in a different way.
If I said to a woman “you’re looking ugly today,” or “you look fat, why don’t you lose some weight?” She’d be crushed! She would go off and have a cry about it. Now if I said that to a man, he’d probably think nothing of it and reply with something like, “yea, so what’s your point?” or thanks ya dummy, same to you.”
Once my Dr. told me I needed to lose some weight. I said “look who’s talking fatso, you weigh more than I do!” He just laughed. Now I could never say that to a female doctor. I noticed that I am more conscious of what I’m wearing when going to a men’s meeting or retreat than any other time. A man’s acceptance and identity comes from his relationships with other men, not from women.
In a fallen world, men abdicate their role, and the women take over the lead. Their boys learn by example to follow, not lead. Then we wonder why kids have difficulty being serious. They just waste their lives playing video games, sports, or other self centered pursuit’s.
In a matriarchal society, the men are passive, ineffective, and reclusive. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a godly characteristic for a man to be shy. Today, bold decisive men in the church, are almost as scarce as godly demure women. Now that’s another topic.